New Judge Dredd movie… Yay?

Judge Dredd: just your regular sociopathic murderous cop.

I used to collect 2000AD (weekly British SF comic) and even Judge Dredd Megazine (monthly spin-off) for quite a while – and I’ve got one helluva potential fire hazard under my bed to prove it. But then I grew up or something, and quit the comic-book habit several years ago. Until a few months ago, the comic’s garish cover caught my eye and I succumbed. And now I have a potential fire hazard under my coffee table.

So, other than my compulsion to tell total strangers about my domestic fire hazards, why am I writing about this? Because I’ve discovered that a new Judge Dredd movie is being released soon! OMG this is brilliant! First of all, I gotta tell you that the film is called Dredd, I suppose to distance itself from the bucket of sloppy crap Judge Dredd released in 1995 and starring Sylvester Stallone. That film suked majorly, as many 2000AD readers said loudly and often. And its actual cinema title is Dredd 3D, because it’s (obviously) been filmed with 3D format in mind. But I’m sure a regular 2D version will be released on DVD (it better had, or someone very close to me will burn down every cinema he can before the cops shoot him dead. 2000AD fans are very protective of Dredd, whose story has been featured in every issue of 2000AD since #2).

What’s more, it’s a British film, just like 2000AD is a British comic! It’s going to be released in Britain first, on 7 September, and the USA will have to wait until 21 September! Swivel on that, Yanks Well, apart from those Yanks whose IQs are above “complete and utter loser” and know how to download a video file off the internet. Google Is Your Friend.

I don’t recognise Karl Urban, the Kiwi who plays the eponymous sociopath,but Wikipedia tells us he is known for playing Éomer in the second and third installments of Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy in the 2009 film Star Trek, and Caesar on Xena: Warrior Princess. He played Vaako in The Chronicles of Riddick, the Russian assassin Kirill in The Bourne Supremacy, and Ghost in Pathfinder and won acclaim for his performances in New Zealand films The Price of Milk and Out of the Blue. That’s not bad, for a Kiwi. Olivia Thirlby, who plays Judge Anderson in the film, has had some movie expereince too, but I’m not going to bother telling you about it, as Thirlby is a bird and everyone knows that chicks are just decoration in action (I’ll probably get garotted with my own intestines for writing that, and maybe I’ll deserve it – Anderson is a powerful dudette in the comic, so Thurlby may be more than the oh-so-predictable love interest yawn). If you really wanna know about her, look at her Wikipedia article, same as I did.

Another major reason for thinking this movie won’t suck is the fact that Dredd keeps his helmet on all through the film. He never appears unhelmeted in the comics, so why would he on screen? No pandering to an egotistic dick like Sylvester Stallone.

I’m not too sure about this new drug “Slo-Mo” that apparently makes users think the world is in slow motion – just a way of justifying some Matrix-style scenes – I meancome on, doesn’t the world of Judge Dredd contain enough weird future drugs? But wtf do I know: I’m not writing films, just writing about them.

Anyway: Dredd 3D. British cinemas from 7 September (Hah!). Don’t miss it. And send in yer comments about it. Let’s see if this one’s any better than that nineties shite eh?