Do as I say, not as I do.

mitchell

Tory Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell: why don’t they put 50,000 volts up his ass?

In the first Prime Minister’s Questions session since Tory Chief Whip swore at police officers and called them “plebs”, Cameron has defended Andrew Mitchell against calls from the Opposition that his position is now untenable.

Ed Miliband, leader of the opposition Labour party, said in PMQs that Mitchell should be sacked. After all, as London mayor Boris Johnson said in last year’s Conservative convention, anyone who swears at a police officer must expect to be arrested as part of a zero-tolerance approach. One rule for the yobs, another for the elite, pointed out Miliband (though he didn’t really need to point this out – the elite have always enjoyed a cosy relationship with the forces of law and order, as well Ed knows, having been a member of tha t elite for quite some time).

It will be mildly interesting to see what’s done about Mitchell. Only mildly, because whatever is done ain’t gonna amount to a hill of beans. Slapped wrists, grudging “apologies”, then a donkey in Blackpool will bray the National Anthem or something and Mitchell’s tribulations will be yesterday’s news. No one cares, cos everyone knows there’s no point in caring.

Another mildly interesting story in the Guardian today is that a copper shot a blind man in the back with a 50,000 volt taser because he apparently thought the man’s white stick was a samurai sword. WTF? Ch Supt Stuart Williams, of Lancashire police, said the force deeply regretted the incident, in an apology as grudgingly given as Mitchell’s, then went on to explain:

Police had “received a number of reports that a man was walking through Chorley armed with a samurai sword”.

A description of the offender was circulated to officers and patrols were sent to look for the man. One of the officers who arrived in Chorley believed he had located the offender. Despite asking the man to stop, he failed to do so and the officer discharged his Taser.

Colin Farmer, the 61-year old victim of this electrocution said he was taking a slow walk to meet some friends when he became aware of some shouting. Next thing he knew, he had been zapped to the ground and forcibly restrained by an anonymous officer (anonymous cos the police ain’t telling and Farmer can’t identify the dickhead since he’s blind).

Ch Supt Williams said that as soon as officers realised their mistake, they took care of Hunter and gave him a lift to meet his friends. That was big of them, considering they could have killed the guy. Hunter, obviously not a young man, has already had two strokes and lives in fear of a third. And how in heck does a police officer mistake a blind man’s white stick for a samurai sword? I thought the whole point of the white stick was so people would realise its carrier was blind. But now, if I were blind, I’d be too scared to take my stick out with me. Who knows, maybe it’ll be a Heckler & Koch MP5 submachinegun used on the next unfortunate victim of mindless police brutality. Insanity.

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