Unintentional prank emailing



After a lifetime of sex and drugs and rock n roll, I have learned a few things (despite my brain atrophying to the size of a garden pea). Admittedly a lot of this learning is due to people sending me emails or texts that say “wtf you on about last night?” and “omg I didn’t know you love me!  Let’s get married!  A June wedding would be so wonderful!!”   When you end up marrying some bird you don’t even like, that is your inner self begging for you to get your dumb ass in order.  Drugs = good times = fun is all very good.  But when your actions under the influence bring to the mind the phrase “drugsarebadmmkay?” it’s time to ease back a little, take some time to smell the coffee/roses, and generally STOP BEING SUCH A COCK!

Sending declarations of everlasting love to ex-partners is not good.  Especially when those exes dumped you years ago and are now happily married with 2 kids.  Telling your ex-boss that he is a dumbass for sacking your ass can be good.  But not via email, SMS, Twitter, Facebook… you think that’s gonna  look good on your CV?  FFS Foolish child!

When you plan to get pissed and/or stoned, first of all cut your arms off so you can’t do any of the above.  Legs too, it’s possible to type with toes and even elbows.  Keep your feelings under control until you’re sober.  Then you’ll see how ABSOLUTELY STUPID your it-seemed-perfectly-fine-at-the-time plan actually is.  Drugs + internet = Noooo!  Bear this in mind, you mindless fools!





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