Conspiracy Theory

image stolen from Time.

CONSPIRACY THEORY

Osama bin Lay-den
Flayed n spayed n
Decapitated
Head in a cool box
Took to Obama
To smirk and jerk off
But president’s jizz
Is problematic
Remember the trouble
When Clinton wiped his dick
On Monica’s dress after their
“Non-sexual congress”?
So how is Obama
s’posed to tell the world his
Spunk’s in bin Lay-den’s beard, oh
You think that’ll win him votes?
OMG, a sure-fire no!
Obama’s best bet is
To drop bin Laden’s head in
The presidential secret locked
Waste-paper trash bin.
Kick that to one side then
On nation-wide live TV
Tell all the nodding sheep
“We dumped his ass in the sea.”
If some folk don’t buy it
Who gives a fuck? See
It’s just another
Con-spi-racy the-o-ry.

Sick of rip-off mobile phone deals? Of course you are! Read on…

I have to use my laptop or smartphone a lot when I’m out and about.  I had an Orange (now EE) sim in my phone, and my allocated data ran out in no time.  For my laptop I had a 3 dongle, which wasn’t much better.  3GB per month allocation of data transfer: ok for the occasional thing, but if you need to use your laptop to its full potential and there isn’t a McDonald’s or KFC nearby whose wifi to steal, you’re going nowhere.

So I switched to giffgaff.  My phone was, surprisingly, unlocked, so I could use it with any network’s sim.  And what’s more, my phone (a Sony Xperia) has built-in function to use the phone as a mobile wifi hotspot.  No stupid cables, or dongles.  And the deals are great: I pay £18, which gives me 2000 mins (that’s right, 2 THOUSAND mins) of calls to other mobiles and landlines, and 0800 calls are free, as they should be!  Also UNLIMITED texts, FREE calls to other giffgaff phones, and 6 GB of data (which is a lot for a mobile service provider).  And if you don’t want to go through the hassle of changing your number, you can migrate your current number to giffgaff.

Tempted?  Give it a go.  Click here to get FREE GIFFGAFF SIM CARDS!!  And if you order your free GFiffgaff sim from that link, you will get £5 credit for FREE!!!

Giffgaff… give it a go.  You have nothing to lose but your chains!  You have a world to win!!  (cheers, Groucho)  😉

Giffgaff… so inexpensive, even diabolical infant geniuses use it!

Oh, as I’m giving satuph away here, why don’t you treat yourself to a copy of the Codex Seraphinianus – the most brilliant book ever!!! [link] And the first reader to crack the code will get a “wonderful prize”!

See, reading I HATE HATE!!! is educational, fun, AND you get the chance to score yourse3lf kewl swag!!!