Like the back of my hand

June 30, 2016

I knew you, I’d boast,
like the back of my hand;
never realizing
that I spent little time
actually getting to know it.

I knew you, for years,
like a member of the family.
But I’d had no family
for most of my life.

I knew you’d never leave me.
When I came home
and all your things had gone
I knew there’d be a simple explanation.

And there was:
you’d left me
even though I’d always known
we would be together forever

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Should Boris Johnson succeed Cameron as prime minister?

June 28, 2016

Since David Cameron resigned as prime minister after the Brexit vote, Boris Johnson is one of the favourites to replace him.  Some people say “Not Boris!  He’s a liar!”  And indeed he is a bullshitter of great renown.  Here are some of his lies:

“As Mayor of London he promised to totally eradicate rough sleeping by 2012; it doubled under his leadership. His 2008 manifesto promised there would be manned ticket offices at every station; he closed all of London’s ticket offices. He aimed to reduce transport fares; they increased by 4.2 per cent.”

But why should this disqualify him?  All politicians are liars (I think… name one high-ranking politician who has never lied and I will accuse you of fibbing…)

I can think of other reasons why he shouldn’t be prime minister.  If he does turn out to be a serious contender, I might list some of these to you.  But for now: stop flapping!

 

Gove: "You're a liar, Boris!" Johnson: "Aren't we all...?"

Gove: “You’re a liar, Boris!”
Johnson: “Aren’t we all…?”

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The EU Referendum: large scale democracy in action

June 26, 2016
The referendum was democracy in action. Voting! What does Spider say about voting?
 
“You want to know about voting. I’m here to tell you about voting.
 
“Imagine you’re locked up in a huge underground nightclub with sinners, whores, freaks and unmentionable things that rape pitbulls for fun. And you ain’t allowed out until you all vote on what you’re going to do tonight.
 
“YOU like to put your feet up and watch ‘Republican Party Reservation’. THEY like to have sex with normal people using knives, guns, and brand-new sexual organs that you did not know existed.
 
“So you vote for television, and everyone else, as far as the eye can see, votes to fuck you with switchblades.
 
“That’s voting. You’re welcome.”
spider-on-voting1


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Britain First a terrorist organization? (No.)

June 17, 2016

After the shocking murder of Labour MP Jo Cox, shot to death in the street outside her constituency office in  Birstall, people are beginning to wonder: is Britain First a terrorist organization?

Several witnesses to the murder have confirmed that the killer, a 52 year old man named locally as Tommy Mair, shouted “Britain First!” as he slew her.  According to The Guardian, Graeme Howard, 38, who lives in nearby Bond Street, told the Guardian he heard the man shout “Britain first” before the shooting and during the arrest.  A second eyewitness, Clarke Rothwell, claimed that the man shouted “Britain First, Britain First.”

tommy-mair

Tommy Mair: allegedly shouted “Britain First” while murdering MP

Aamir Tahir, of the Dry Clean Centre, said the gunman was heard shouting “Britain first”.

He said: “The lady I work with heard two loud bangs but I wasn’t there, I was stuck in traffic at the time. I wish I was there because I would have tried to stop him.”

And, perhaps the most damning allegation:

Witness Daniel Blyth, 38, a company director from the town, told the Yorkshire Post newspaper that the assault was “unusual”. He added: “I saw seven police cars racing up Leeds Road towards Morley. They were unmarked BMWs,” he said.

“There are two helicopters flying overhead. It all seems very dramatic. I have heard that two people have been shot but I’m not who are why. It’s all very unusual for Birstall.”

So, was “Tommy Mair’s”attack a Britain First plot?  Britain First, a far-right political party campaigning for Britain to leave the EU, deny this, saying the reports were “pure hearsay”. It described the attack as a “despicable crime” and added: “We are nothing to do with it.”(“though they would say that, wouldn’t they,” ha ha bonk).  Maybe “Mair” was pissed off about the chance that Britain may vote to stay in the EU… but that still makes “Britain First!” an odd choice of warcry.  Incidentally, Jo Cox was pro-Europe.

The suspect in the MP’s death is believed to have had long-term links to the Springbok Club, a hard-right group that has campaigned against the EU.

He also purchased a gun-making manual from a far-right neo-Nazi group, new documents suggest.

So is Britain First a terrorist organization that should be proscribed, like the Islamist groups that have preached jihad against the West?  Probably not.  But if I shouted “Allahu Akbar!” while shooting politicians, I’m sure the security services would be looking for any link, no matter how tenuous, between me and ISIL etc.

Just let me make it clear: I’m not claiming that Britain First is a terrorist group, nor that there’s any link between this murderer and the organization.  I’m just asking questions.  Which is one of the rights I get living in democratic Europe rather than Syria or the USA.  So don’t get mad at me.  I didn’t invent these stupid bastards.


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